i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
