Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
