Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
