i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
