I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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