i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
