I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
