Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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