Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
