like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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