I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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