dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
