My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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