WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
