sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
