Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
