it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
