I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
