we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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