Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
