READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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