You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
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Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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