i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
bring money and cleavage
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
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I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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