that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Naked Twister starts at high noon
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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