Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
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Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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