Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
