Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
