Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
