I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
