you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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