Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
