Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
