she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
