note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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