maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
