I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
