There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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