Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
