were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
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