So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
