I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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