put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
