how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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