um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
