what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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