I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
