i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
