just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
