you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
