i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
