***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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