STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
