you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
