We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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