dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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