as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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